I know! Right at the beginning, before I even post it for the first time! Because I just have to say: for this to be one of the shortest I've written, it's easily the one that's taken me the longest to write. Three freaking hours. Why do you ask? Two words: Penelope Kaye. She has this absurdly routine habit of falling asleep, then waiting for me to try to do anything else that doesn't completely revolve around her, then waking up and fussing until I hold her and love her.
She's done it all through this journal entry, to the point I'm typing it one handed. Which is why it took me so long. Gonna try to paraphrase and wrap this up as quick as I can, but you guys know me. That's right: go get a snack and drink, it might be a while.
I guess I'll start with the obvious! Coming in at 7 lbs, 1 ounce, and a lot of attitude: Penelope Kay!! Born on 9/17/2013. The birth was hilarious: I went three whole hours without the epidural. At first, I was fine. Even joking around and watching television. Then the water broke and I started feeling contractions nearly ever minute. And that's when all hell broke loose... I was near sobbing, begging my husband to 'help me!', and demanding that I be allowed to have the baby, because it hurt that bad. I tried hard guys, to last all the way through to give a normal birth. But when I got to 'wanting to punch myself out' levels of pain, I finally relented and asked for it. BEST. SHIT. EVER. If I have a second child, I'm naming him/her after the man that gave it to me. He is now my newest best friend. Seriously, I gave about two fucks after that: they could do whatever they wanted. And the best part: I waited an hour before she was do (almost came close to no being able to take the stuff) so I didn't feel any of the birth. Or the cutting and stitching. I refuse to even imagine how much it would have hurt naturally. She came quickly though once it was time to actually push: took about maybe 30 minutes. The entire process started at 7:30ish (when I was induced) to 2:24 (when she was born). Lost a lot of blood though: almost blacked out trying to go to the bathroom (after the fact) twice. Couldn't shower (couldn't stand, the seat was too hard and uncomfortable on my bottom after the stitches, and didn't want to black out) properly and sitting made me black out (I think it was the bending over maybe/fast motion) so it was wash up city with my husband being my 'spotter' for me. Hospitial was nice, the nurses friendly, the food garbage: ate out. A lot.
My little Penny Turtle. She's beautiful, adorable, looks just like her father (has my mouth and skin tone though), and is
to the max. She's actually not that bad of a baby: she only cries when hungry or wet (or wants to be held and loved). She's now gotten really good at sleeping, so I can sleep for like, 5 hours straight now! And through the night! If you lay her on her stomach, she tries to crawl instantly. (It won't be long, I tell you.) If talk about her (like she's not there) she has this habit of like, making noises and hitting you with her hand. Seriously. It's cute and odd. (She was like that in the womb: I'd talk about her, she'd kick me.) Rocks the colors pink and yellow the best, outfit wise. And yes, I did name a character after her.
My life as I knew it: over. Completely revolves around Sweet P. When I sleep, eat, work--anything. I've damn near become a lefty.
Mulitasking has become a life safer. So has my 3DS. (One of the few things I can do while she sleeps/I have to hold her. Bless Nintendo, seriously.) Very rollercoaster like, but oddly, entertaining. Trying not to spoil her, but it's very hard: she's so cute and I like buying people stuff to begin with. And she makes these cute 'cooing' sounds and then I get all gushy and like to hold and hug her. Except when I'm sleepy. Then I just glare at her and start reciting the book "Go the fuck to sleep!" in my head.
Went through depression after the baby for a week and a half: very dark period of my life. Had to delete all Emilie Autumn from my iPod, as I wanted to kill myself after listening to the song 306.
That perioud could be a journal entry of it's own. All accumulated into one WTF day: completely snapped into anger at my husband, was working on two-three days of no sleep, dropped my iphone into soapy water (right after I upgraded it, but not within the time frame to return it and get another) so now it works like crap, burned my breakfast, got a mysterious boil thing on my finger, ripped one of my favorite pants at the crouch in a way where I had to scrap them, and to top it off, got a freak out of nowhere cold. No joke. All in one day. I was so pissed and consumed with the thought of my life somehow becoming a cosmic joke, that I refused to be depressed anymore. Because fuck whatever was messing with me and my hormones, that's why.
has been my rock, along with
and my mom (when she's not driving me crazy with advice/nagging/worry-warting over her granddaughter). Seriously, I needed them. And Slim is awesome as a father. She's already a daddy's girl (he won't believe me though): she cries when he leaves the room, because 'uppity' (ignores/doesn't acknowledge) anyone else when he holds her, save him...that sort of thing. I think I'm more her walking, talking bottle and personal pillow.
She's changed me. Again, could be a journal entry all on it's own. I think completely differently now. Can't watch certain things I use to, as it effects me now, being a parent. Certain things in general bother me now that I'm a parent. This has caused me to re-evalute some things with a few characters/given me a better perceptive of how they should feel, react. (Speaking of Kat's family, as well as Candy's and Pixi's.) Still killing characters, making their lives suck, and whatnot though--that didn't change. Just the reasoning, the reactions, and outcomes did. (Answer: for the better. Or worse.
) When I get a chance to post/show this, I will. Someday. *stares at Penelope. She's just staring back, sucking on her fingers. So cute.*
After years of avoiding and dislike, I now like Pokemon. Playing Y, husband has X. Yeah. Thank the constant efforts of
. After years of trying to get me involved, she finally succeeded. Well, that and Mew Two. Love that Pokemon...
Me + Art = yeeaaaah....no. I have stuff. Sitting on it (from before the baby). Can't get to it. At all. Never had much time to draw anymore and when I do, mostly pencil. If I upload anything, it probably won't be shaded. Or colored. Or with lineart. Or finished.
Aaaaand she's crying because she needs to eat so gotta go. I'll answer my inbox one day. Have no idea when I'll be back. If it's important, PM me.